The Difficulties of Cross-Cultural Marriage

The marriage of the two people who belong to different cultural backgrounds are not a rare phenomenon today. I know a lot of happy families who serve as the examples of the common belief that the two people of various nationalities and cultures supplement to each other’s experience and make each other’s life views wider. But apart from the fact that many people live happily there are still many tragedies connected with the mutual misunderstandings of the people from different social backgrounds.

Many girls register at the dating websites hoping to meet someone to marry. In their dreams they see the wealthy Eastern man as Aladdin from a fairy tale who is handsome, caring and always ready to make her every single wish come true. The reality is far less sweet than it may seem. The Western girls are often amazed by their eastern boyfriends as the last search for their beloved attention in a very beautiful way. But the girls are commonly unaware that such actions f their new boyfriends are the result of their traditional views. According to Muslim tradition a man should literally pile his girlfriend up with expensive presents such as golden rings with diamonds, cars, gorgeous garments and crocodile leather bags. But as soon as the young couple gets married the girl gets disappointed with the sudden changes of her husband’s behavior. She supposes that her husband has deceived her as his words were completely different during their dating period. Finally she found herself in a total slavery which is accepted as the normal and even happy life by the Eastern women.

The European woman who traveled to Japan as she was a young girl was terrified by the methods of children upbringing in that country. The Japanese girls are supposed to be the finest and the most expensive… decoration of their husbands’ houses. Since the earliest childhood the Japanese girls are to endure excruciating pains, hunger and depression. If a little girls cries because the hair pins hurt while she is sleeping or the hunger pains make her belly shrink she is told that there is always the way out. The little child is allowed to commit a suicide. Committing a suicide is supposed to be a great honor and an act of bravery in Japan. But the most embarrassing thing that astonished the European woman was the fact that the Japanese wives have to flush their toilet endlessly in order not to be heard while urinating. Of course that social demands seen barbaric to the modern European emancipated women but the Japanese women suppose them to be quite OK.

The European men who are eager to marry a Russian or Ukrainian woman as they suppose the last to be modest and non-demanding. But the reality doesn’t meet their expectations. The Frenchman who married a Russian woman was surprised when he saw her dressing up tasteless and tacky. She refused to learn French or at least English though she promised her husband to entertain his colleagues with a nice small talk. The modest nice Russian Cinderella turned out to be much more like one of her sisters.

Leave a comment


  1. What you mentioned are only some prejudices and no difficulties mentioned! One difficulty is that many people regardless of their cultural, ethical, national, and financial backgrounds don’t know what they really want and what they are looking for.

    There are many things that can unite mankind or at least a couple but unfortunately we prefer to choose the things that divide us. I don’t buy your argument as long as i see unfortunate couples from same cultural background that end up in divorce and violent lives.

  2. Markymarc

     /  July 22, 2013

    I just contribute to ´virtueorvice´.


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